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mixed feelings about new story

I've been itching to write a new story lately. I started one about a fling between a boss and an employee (definitely not based on my real life!) I had sworn I would not write something along the lines of Fifty Shades Of Gray, as I really dislike that trend and genre. But that's where my new story is going at the moment and I'm trying to accept that, instead of beating myself up about "eww, why don't you come up with something deep and intellectual instead."

Story idea

While I was at work yesterday, I came up with a story idea about time travel. It involves a portal between medieval times and the present. Let's see how that one works out.

One story into the trash can

I give up on writing Oh Yes They're Lesbians, the story about authors offended by fan fiction:

That piece just did not work well. It was like one of those movies where they spend too long introducing all the characters' quirks and backstories. Usually I save all my stories, even the half finished or not so great ones, because they're a learning experience to look back on. But OYTL just fell so short of pleasing me that I don't plan to keep a copy around.

Oh well. Onward and upward. Maybe now I can move on to writing the story about the world almost empty of humans; I've been shoving that to the side since February. I'm looking forward to NaNoWriMo, too. Hoping that story fill feel full formed by then.

Not a good morning : /

Back in jr high, I started at a new school and didn't know anyone. I used to sit and talk with these two guys at lunch, one of them kind of a funny badass and the other one super smart, shy and good looking. I had a little crush on him, but I didn't have the nerve to do anything about it. I'm referring to him as "the shy smart guy" after this because I don't want to use his real name.

Years later, I ran into the shy smart guy at college. He didn't remember me from jr high, but we became friends. After college graduation, I didn't see him for another three years. I was walking out of a grocery store in our hometown and he said in a flirting tone "Hey, don't I know you from (jr high name) ?" We talked for a short time and then I went home. That day I added him to my FB page. He sent me a note back that was kind of intense and personal, wanting to know if I had kids, was I married, was I looking to date right now, etc. It was very clear he meant "are you attracted to me ?" Here's the thing: a few days earlier I had asked someone out on a date (the boyfriend I'm with now). We hadn't even gone on the date yet, but I felt like "Wow, if I'd run into shy smart guy one month earlier, I would totally say yes to going out with him. This other guy and I aren't a couple yet, but I don't know, but I just feel like he's already won me over for some reason." So I sent the shy smart guy an email back saying something like "no kids yet and there's nobody dateable in our town lolz just lots of rednecks that aren't my type."

When I started my new job last year, I made a new friend there and this person randomly happened to know shy smart guy from a previous job. I sent shy smart guy a message saying "New friend at my job says to tell you hi. You guys used to do this-and-that at xyz restaurant together", but shy smart guy never answered back.

I'm writing this now because I just found out shy smart guy died : ( He drowned this week. And it really got to me. It makes me think of how different things would have been if I'd chosen him instead. Two scenarios come to mind (1)I would have been fishing with his family the day that he drowned or (2)we'd decide to go some place else that day and thus he wouldn't drown. And I feel like a jerk for saying there wasn't anyone dateable in our town, even though I didn't mean he was one of those people. Yeah, I know it's selfish of me to think of that stuff at a time like this : /


I got inspired by this thread and started a new story, about an author upset over a fan fiction site. I guess the story about the almost empty world will have to wait again.

Finally done

Last night I said to myself "No, you still cannot start a new story. Not until you've edited the one you finished writing in February." I was so dreading it. I wasn't in love with that story. But surprisingly, it only took an hour last night and about an hour this afternoon to edit. And I like the story much better now that it's completely written, spell checked, edited and eyeballed to hell and back for mistakes.

I don't know why I had to be such a gripey, whiney bitch about it. Now I just need to buy some computer ink and computer paper to print out the story, timeline, scene list and character list. And I can move on to writing the next story.

possible story idea

I had sent a friend an ice breaker question the other night about "do you ever wonder what the world would be like if it was empty of all people and noise, except for you ?" After that, the idea of a world mostly empty of people nagged at me and made me think "huh, let's try that for a story idea." Haven't gotten it started yet,though. The characters aren't fully formed in my head. Plus I need to finish editing the previous 13 page story, although I am dragging my feet on it because I still don't feel much joy about that.


After only managing 13 pages in my last story, I have made myself promise to write two pages a day until that equals a 100+ page book. I am dragging my feet, though. I keep thinking "*toddler whine* no wanna do that. wanna write it all in a 6 to 8 hour marathon in one night." Which is freaking ridiculous and impossible, short of me taking up heavy drinking or super trippy drugs (yeah, I don't think either are a good idea). Plus I haven't thought of another story idea that I feel excited about.

My story is finished

as of 10:52 tonight. I was in tears as I was writing. That is a good sign for me, because it means the story is going in the right direction and feels complete.

I have not checked the page count and the word count yet. I am holding off on that at the moment; it will crush my soul and make me want to throw something if it only adds up to 5 pages of writing.

Will add the page count to this post later, though. Right now I am going to just let myself enjoy this good feeling.

**February 3rd, 3:40 PM: Ugh. My happy moment has been killed. The story only came out to 6520 words over 13 pages. Totally sucks to do that much writing and have it come out to such a small amount : P